These are the best of the old school quotes I use to have on my old web page. I still laugh at all of these.
“Its not that shes is fat. Its that she acts fat.” (commenting on an adp girl walking on campus) - Jared D Gartner
“That phone’s for talkin’, not for gayin’” - Brian
girl: “Hey what are you guys doing?” Doza: “Hopefully hooking up with you tonight bitch!” -Doza
“I don’t care I still smell pussy.” - Jason ( in a restaurant yelling at old people)
“Cops hate dudes with bitch beer.” - Sauce
Scott: “she’s got a real good personality” brian: “I don’t fuck personality”
“Lauren, for the first five years of your life I thought you were a housecat.” - Chris (written on a napkin given to Lauren)
“I also mentioned about how I have that V muscle thing near the hips and she said ‘You only get that from lots of sex….’ and I said ‘oh….I guess so’…..silence…..” - Ryan
“I can get smarter but you can’t get any less faggoty.” - Duffy talking to Graham
“Aren’t there 16 ounces in a 40?” - Leah
Graham: “Do you think you could implode a beer bottle by sucking all the air out of it?” Chris: “I donno. There’s prob some freak out there that could do that. I bet your mom could.” - Chris and Graham
me: “what the fuck is she wearing” Brian: “I donno, it doesn’t matter as long as it can come off” - Brian
“Let me put it this way, every door I knocked at was open. And I knocked at them all.” Ryan (in reference to a girl)
“Kristen everything will be ok if you father my children.” - Ryan
“I’m going to make sweet love to you when you’re asleep tonight” - Ryan
“Yeah that bitch was fat, fat like a fox.” - Chris
“Hey look, a pregnant fairy.” - Chris …on halloween..about a heavy girl
“Just wait til I get a hold of your dad.” - Patrick
me: “Who’s Lorie?” scott: “That’s Andrew’s soon to be pussy” - Scott
“My chapstick feels empty…..empty like my life” - Ryan
Jeeb: “Mind if I use the bathroom” Kristen: “Yeah but you’ll have to use the colored one” - Kristen
“Kristen’s running a tab…just wait til I come to collect.” - Jeeb
“I need a high school boy. They’ll respect me.” - Kristen
“I was just seeing how much stuff I could fit in my jacket.” - Erik
Kristen: “and your moms all like ‘hey ryans dad’” Ryan: “my mom doesnt call my dad ‘ryans dad’” - Kristen and Ryan
“I like my women like I like my coffee, dark and sweet.” - Steve (drunk 65 year old white guy from wa-ho)
“You guys ever dry heave while masturbating?” - Ryan Mistretta
“Screw it, girls are too tricky…..I quit” - Andrew Webb
“finding a girlfriend is useless……i got no game” - Andrew Webb
“does she like jesus? You should buy her some Jesus Christ. She wants you to buy her some Jesus Christ.” - some south african guy in Concord
“i forget…i looked it up on the tuturial site thing got had……….daniel’s many?…………whiters?” - Scott Jonhson
“No it just has the negative numbers worked out just like the ones in the back of the book” - Scott confusing negative with odd
“I’m not man enough to get a woman.” - Andrew Webb
“My mutant power is quick learning.” - Andrew Webb
“Boy you guys must have a lot of meat.” - Graham Shalvoy while trying to pick up a girl